There's No "I" In "Meme"

"Just look at the face; vacant, with a hint of sadness. Like a drunk who's lost a bet."

I happened upon this particular meme over at Chris's Blog, From A Whisper To A Scream. Been a while since I've done anything like this, so why the hell not, eh?

1) What would you do if you could be a member of the opposite sex for one day?
Answer some questions that have bugged me for many years.

2) What animal do you most identify with?
I always find it hardest to answer the simplest questions. No idea. I don't really notice animals.

3) If you could wipe out one group of people off the face of the earth, no repercussions, who would the group be and why?
I wouldn't. I could answer if you were talking individuals, but you can't judge a group.

4) OK, you get to have any magical power you want. What do you pick?
The ability to change my appearance, to look like anyone I want to.

5) Would you pick the boat, or the mystery box? (a boat is just a boat, but the mystery box..that could be anything. It could even be a boat!)
The box. What the fuck would I do with a boat?

6) How do you want do die?
I wanna be the guy that says, "Go on, I'll only slow you down," and is then heard screaming "COME ON, YOU UGLY MOTHERFUCKERS!" over automatic gunfire and alien shrieks of pain. Seriously.

7) How do you want to live?
Like it's a movie about me.

8) Is there any character trait, action, or belief in another person that would make you lose all interest in them immediately?
No.

9) If you had the power to legalize one illegal thing, what would it be?
That's a tough choice to have to make, but I think I'd choose drugs. It's my belief that, in the long-term, such a move would be of the most benefit to society as a whole. There are a lot of reasons why I think that. Maybe I'll go into them in a later post.

10) Do you eat any foods in an odd way?
Nothing in particular, although I eat every meal in order of preference, leaving my favourite part of it until last.

11) Have you ever had a supernatural experience?
I don't believe in the supernatural.

12) Have you ever thought about something and had it come true?
Yes, but it wasn't because I thought about it.

13) What was the worst experience you've ever had in a relationship?
When my girlfriend cheated on me by attending an orgy.

14) Ever switch your religion?
If you count switching from agnostic to atheist at the age of thirteen, yes.

15) What comes first: your lover or your family?
I'm married.

16) What do you want done with your body once you die?
You can play football with my head for all I care.

17) Are you attracted to a particular sign of the zodiac?
No. I don't believe in astrology.

18) Were you ever really good at something you really didn't like doing?
Not that I can think of offhand.

19) Is there a word or phrase you used to use that you would feel really embarrassed using now? (Ex. Phat; as if, etc.)
I recycle crap phrases on a regular basis. In fact, I pride myself on horrifying people by suddenly dredging up things from the early nineties.

20) You have 5 hours left to live. What do you do?
Everything.

21) If you had to, would you eat another human to survive?
Yes.

22) You're walking down the street with your best friend, when all of a sudden two people come out of nowhere. One grabs your friend and starts beating them up, bad. The other tells you you'd better not help, because their friend has a knife, and they will use it. But you don't see a knife. They don't even have their hands in their pockets. What do you do?
Wade on in.

23) Do you have a victory dance?
I do. I even have a name for it: The Wounded Cow Dance, known in some circles as The Horny Buffalo Shuffle.

24) Have you started using any phrases that you heard someone use on TV, in the movies, or in a book?
Too many times. I'm a culture junkie.

25) Did you ever have to wear a uniform for anything in your life?
School.

26) Is there a situation that you still look back on, going over it in your head again and again, thinking of ways you could have handled it better?
If so, what? Or if there are a lot, pick one.
When I was twelve or thirteen, I got into a fight with some gypsy kids. I really let them bully me before I finally responded. I felt weak and ashamed about that for years afterward.

27) What's your favorite object that serves no real purpose?
Everything serves a purpose.

28) Pro-life or pro-choice? Why?
Pro-choice. Have you seen the pro-lifers?

29) For or against the death penalty? Why?
Against. I lack faith in our system of criminal justice.

30) For or against gay marriage? Why?
For. You can't legislate love.

31) Your first born child just told you they're gay. How do you feel?
I don't see how I would feel anything. I guess I'd feel I'd raised them right if they could be honest about who they were and what they felt.

32) Is there anyone in your life worth going to jail for?
Yup.

33) Have you ever said something really clever to one of those annoying telemarketers? If so, what?
I wasted all my best lines on the Jehovah's Witnesses.

34) What's your favorite weapon?
Against what?

35) Were you ever a victim of abuse?
No.

36) Which celebrity can't you stand that everyone seems to love?
I loathe celebrity in general. Just pick a reality TV star.

37) Is there any food that is almost guaranteed to make you sick?
Peppers.

38) Do you screen your calls when you don't recognize the number, or does your curiosity get the better of you?
I never answer the phone if I don't know who it is.

39) How's your self-esteem?
I'm a little fatter than I'd like to be, otherwise I'm the same egocentric bastard I've been for as long as I can remember.