Further Memery
"You hang anchors over my neck. I liked it at first, but the more you laugh...crazy."
Heads up, kids. I know I'm being an awful poster at the moment. Trust me, there are reasons. Here's a meme I stole from Chris to keep you entertained.
DO YOU SNORE?
According to Jenn, yes. I also breathe strangely. Occasionally, I even mutter.
ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER?
A lover, for sure. I haven't been in a fight in years.
WHAT’S YOUR WORST FEAR?
Mediocrity (As in my own. I don't run screaming from average people)
AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC?
Not especially.
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF “REALITY” TV?
I think they should take every person from every one of those fucking shows, put them all on a big island, and then set me and a bunch of like-minded folk loose with an arsenal of insanely destructive weaponry. They could call it Celebrity Apocalypse Island, and it could be the orgasm that finally ends this utter wankfest of an outplayed fad.
Honestly, though, I don't care one way or the other.
DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
Nope.
WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?
Horrifically so.
IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?
I loved it once. Now I can't imagine going back.
WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
Black.
DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
No.
HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?
No.
ANY SECRET TALENTS
I have many, many secret talents. But they're secret, see.
WHAT’S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
Since moving to California, an ideal vacation spot has basically become anyplace that actually has weather as opposed to endless sunshine.
CAN YOU SWIM?
Like a fat, hairy fish.
HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE DONNIE DARKO?
Yes, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
DO YOU GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE OZONE?
I do, but I can't honestly claim to be really bothered about it.
HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP?
I don't think I've ever had one. Isn't that odd?
CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?
I can do it drunk. Take that, roadside sobriety test!
DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENER?
I can't write or draw in pencil at all. The sensation of lead on paper is like fingernails down a blackboard to me.
WHAT’S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
For recreation? It's pretty disgusting.
IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
If it is, then so's Bigamy.
DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I do, actually. It's uniquely bad.
WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?
Chocolate. Prolonged exposure to sunshine. Morons.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, “I LOVE YOU” ?
This morning.
DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?
No.
HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
Scrambled.
ARE BLONDES DUMB?
Depends who's asking.
WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?
Halfway down the corridor between my apartment and the laundry room.
WHAT TIME IS IT?
11pm.
DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?
No.
IS MCDONALD’S DISGUSTING?
It's foul.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR?
About an hour ago.
DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
Baths.
IS SANTA CLAUS REAL?
Yes. So is the Easter Bunny. And the Tooth Fairy. Not to mention God...
DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED?
Not especially. I don't dislike it, but it's not really a fetish of mine.
ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
Sometimes. I was terrified of the dark as a child, and I still have a residual fear.
WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
Everything bad.
CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?
Crunchy.
CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK?
No, but I can crack my right ankle.
HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?
Several times.
IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?
Depends on the drug and the person. On the one hand, I think we're way too medicated as a culture. On the other, I really do think everyone should take a massive dose of mushrooms and just go lie in a field on a beautiful summer's night at least once in their lives.
ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER?
I used to be. These days, someone sneezes two states away and I wake up.
WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
Blue.
DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?
My life is a big Awesome Cake with slightly bitter sprinklings of Obligation and Routine.
ARE YOU PSYCHIC?
No, and neither is anybody else.
HAVE YOU READ CATCHER IN THE RYE?
Yup.
DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
I can play the drums, the piano, the bass guitar, and the trumpet with varying degrees of skill. I've got a pretty good singing voice, too.
HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY?
Yeah, I used to steal from my mum when I was young and delinquent.
CAN YOU SNOWBOARD?
I've never tried.
DO YOU LIKE CAMPING?
Never done it properly. I've camped out at festivals, but that's not the same thing.
DO YOU SNORT WHEN YOU LAUGH?
No.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?
Yes. And Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny...etc.
ARE DOGS A MAN’S BEST FRIEND?
Not literally, no.
YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?
Sure. Nothing is sacred.
CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?
Can I do it? Yes. Does it look like a Moonwalk? No, it looks like a white boy walking backwards.
DO YOU MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES?
Nobody's perfect, but fuck, I'm close.
IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY?
Not in the slightest. It was like ninety degrees this afternoon.
WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Potato wedges.
DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH?
No.
HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU LIKE RIGHT NOW?
Too many to count or list.
WHAT’S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIAL?
I don't really pay attention to commercials. I only remember the ones I like.
DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?
Why, do they sponsor these endless memes?
FAVORITE SONG AT THE MOMENT?
Hole In The Earth by The Deftones.
Heads up, kids. I know I'm being an awful poster at the moment. Trust me, there are reasons. Here's a meme I stole from Chris to keep you entertained.
DO YOU SNORE?
According to Jenn, yes. I also breathe strangely. Occasionally, I even mutter.
ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER?
A lover, for sure. I haven't been in a fight in years.
WHAT’S YOUR WORST FEAR?
Mediocrity (As in my own. I don't run screaming from average people)
AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC?
Not especially.
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF “REALITY” TV?
I think they should take every person from every one of those fucking shows, put them all on a big island, and then set me and a bunch of like-minded folk loose with an arsenal of insanely destructive weaponry. They could call it Celebrity Apocalypse Island, and it could be the orgasm that finally ends this utter wankfest of an outplayed fad.
Honestly, though, I don't care one way or the other.
DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
Nope.
WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?
Horrifically so.
IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?
I loved it once. Now I can't imagine going back.
WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
Black.
DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
No.
HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?
No.
ANY SECRET TALENTS
I have many, many secret talents. But they're secret, see.
WHAT’S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
Since moving to California, an ideal vacation spot has basically become anyplace that actually has weather as opposed to endless sunshine.
CAN YOU SWIM?
Like a fat, hairy fish.
HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE DONNIE DARKO?
Yes, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
DO YOU GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE OZONE?
I do, but I can't honestly claim to be really bothered about it.
HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP?
I don't think I've ever had one. Isn't that odd?
CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?
I can do it drunk. Take that, roadside sobriety test!
DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENER?
I can't write or draw in pencil at all. The sensation of lead on paper is like fingernails down a blackboard to me.
WHAT’S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
For recreation? It's pretty disgusting.
IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
If it is, then so's Bigamy.
DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I do, actually. It's uniquely bad.
WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?
Chocolate. Prolonged exposure to sunshine. Morons.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, “I LOVE YOU” ?
This morning.
DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?
No.
HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
Scrambled.
ARE BLONDES DUMB?
Depends who's asking.
WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?
Halfway down the corridor between my apartment and the laundry room.
WHAT TIME IS IT?
11pm.
DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?
No.
IS MCDONALD’S DISGUSTING?
It's foul.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR?
About an hour ago.
DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
Baths.
IS SANTA CLAUS REAL?
Yes. So is the Easter Bunny. And the Tooth Fairy. Not to mention God...
DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED?
Not especially. I don't dislike it, but it's not really a fetish of mine.
ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
Sometimes. I was terrified of the dark as a child, and I still have a residual fear.
WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
Everything bad.
CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?
Crunchy.
CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK?
No, but I can crack my right ankle.
HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?
Several times.
IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?
Depends on the drug and the person. On the one hand, I think we're way too medicated as a culture. On the other, I really do think everyone should take a massive dose of mushrooms and just go lie in a field on a beautiful summer's night at least once in their lives.
ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER?
I used to be. These days, someone sneezes two states away and I wake up.
WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
Blue.
DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?
My life is a big Awesome Cake with slightly bitter sprinklings of Obligation and Routine.
ARE YOU PSYCHIC?
No, and neither is anybody else.
HAVE YOU READ CATCHER IN THE RYE?
Yup.
DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
I can play the drums, the piano, the bass guitar, and the trumpet with varying degrees of skill. I've got a pretty good singing voice, too.
HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY?
Yeah, I used to steal from my mum when I was young and delinquent.
CAN YOU SNOWBOARD?
I've never tried.
DO YOU LIKE CAMPING?
Never done it properly. I've camped out at festivals, but that's not the same thing.
DO YOU SNORT WHEN YOU LAUGH?
No.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?
Yes. And Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny...etc.
ARE DOGS A MAN’S BEST FRIEND?
Not literally, no.
YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?
Sure. Nothing is sacred.
CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?
Can I do it? Yes. Does it look like a Moonwalk? No, it looks like a white boy walking backwards.
DO YOU MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES?
Nobody's perfect, but fuck, I'm close.
IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY?
Not in the slightest. It was like ninety degrees this afternoon.
WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Potato wedges.
DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH?
No.
HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU LIKE RIGHT NOW?
Too many to count or list.
WHAT’S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIAL?
I don't really pay attention to commercials. I only remember the ones I like.
DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?
Why, do they sponsor these endless memes?
FAVORITE SONG AT THE MOMENT?
Hole In The Earth by The Deftones.
posted by Michael at 10:52 PM
4 Comments:
Very nice...dude, I don't know why I'm thinking of this after reading your post - but I saw Borat yesterday and it was super funny. I get the feeling you will like...I suspect you know alot more about Sacha Baron Cohen that we Americans - I'm not big on the Ali G character but Borat cracks me up.
I saw it last weekend and definitely liked it. Maybe a little bit of overkill at times, but I can forgive that for how funny it was.
and you'll be pleased to hear that Sacha Baron Cohen was royally punched in the face after trying to be funny to a passer-by. hugh laurie saved him. True story.
Heh. Love it. I'm stealing it for my blog, too.
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